Random Fingerprints

There are a few random fingerprints that have recently happened, but I haven't known how to incorporate them in my journaling. So instead I'll just make a post about them!

One day a week or so after Mom died, I was having a particularly hard day of missing her and grieving. That day there were 4 comforting cards in the mail, and a belated bouquet of flowers was delivered.

Another day, just recently, I said to Reid "Who is going to help me know all my flower names now that Mom is gone? She knew all the kinds of flowers and when and where to plant them." A few hours later here came my older neighbor from across the street with a card and plant-able flower in her hand. She told me the name of the flower (I think it's Cyclimen but I don't know how to spell it), and how and where to plant it. My family and I have enjoyed her beautiful backyard garden many a time, and she loves to have my kids just walk into her backyard any time they want. She told me that she knew she could never replace my mom in any way, but that if I wanted to join her for a cup of tea, a walk or some prayer time, she will be there for me. How sweet! I think I will take her up on her offer, and also ask her about flowers. I desperately need to know what will work in the flower bed under our front windows!

Today seems to be another one of THOSE days. Life is just weird without Mom around. Let's face it. It just stinks! I'd use stronger language, but we don't say s...u...c...k...s at our house. :)(See, I had to spell it so I wasn't actually saying it.) I was cleaning up at Mom and Dad's house this morning, and it seemed so quiet, so void of the cheerful presence of Mom, even though the essence of her is everywhere up there. Yesterday, we went up there to watch the Super Bowl. It was fun, but I missed Mom's shrieking, and though we had plenty of yummy snacks, there was no clam dip with Ruffles potato chips - her favorite. So I've been fighting the sorrow all morning. I know- not fighting it, just experiencing it more deeply today. So I get home after lunch, and there is this note on Facebook regarding my last post from a friend in Texas :

Because habits are things you wish you could rid yourself of forever, but family is what you want to remain forever (in-laws not withstanding). Free yourself to mourn. Grieve passionately and drink deep the sorrow. For the depths created by your anguish today, become the depths God fills with joy tomorrow. The deeper we allow ourselves to feel the sorrow, the deeper we will be able to feel the joy. It is a spiritual law. Just don't get lost in the depths. Remember to look up to the light, our hope, our Savior. While it is true that we do not mourn as those who have no hope, we mourn still....and a better mourning, for we have that hope. And ours is less a selfish mourning, though we will miss our loved one, but one of the loss the world will have for the joy and wisdom and love that one gave. Bless you guys! Carrie, you got this!

A fingerprint? You betcha! Thank you Paul. I really needed that today. :) God is good, and with the love and care of friends from all over I/we will walk through this gaining a depth we lacked before.