Where to start?.... I'm starting a new chapter in my life. One I'd rather not have to start, but one I'm willing, with God's grace, to write, to walk, to experience, to read and reflect upon. What's it called? Life - without my mom, my best friend, my cheerleader, my wise counsel, my encourager, and more. I'm calling it God's Fingerprints because that's what I see so far in this new life of mine. Every day, God graciously gives me a gift of some kind that lets me know He is with me, He knows my pain, He will carry me through, and He WILL bring joy to my days.
Today I sat reading my Bible. I was looking for a verse that said "God is my portion." I found one in Psalms, though it wasn't quite what I thought it would be. I decided to read the whole Psalm. It was rich. Especially the last few verses. Psalm 16:9-11: Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices: my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
I found this encouraging on two levels. One, for Mom. How great to know that she is filled with joy, in His presence, with eternal pleasure!
Second, as I read the notes in my Life Application Bible, here's what I found. "True joy is far deeper than happiness: we can feel joy in spite of our deepest troubles. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us. As we contemplate His daily presence, we will find contentment. As we understand the future He has for us we will experience joy. Don't base your life on circumstances, but on God." These are two things Reid and I prayed about just last night - that God would make His presence known to me, and that He would show me what He has for me in this new chapter of life.
Just as I finished reading, the mail lady put a package on my doorstep and knocked on my door. Sitting there was a package from someone I don't even know. I thought maybe the books I ordered were here, but as I eagerly opened the box, I found instead a card on top of a cozy looking crocheted lap blanket. The card explained that back in December this woman had asked her mother in law (MIL) to crochet a prayer shawl for my mom. (As she crochets, this lady prays for the person she's making the shawl for, then when it's finished, her church dedicates the shawl during church service and prays for the recipient.) The woman explained that her MIL wasn't able to finish the blanket before Mom died, and that her MIL wanted me to have it. Her church dedicated it and prayed for me, my dad, and my family, and then it was mailed. She told me that many prayers were uttered on behalf of my mom, my dad and the rest of us over the last couple of months, and that she would continue to pray for me in the months to come.
I felt washed in His presence, comforted in His arms, humbly blessed by His reminder that He is with me and will comfort me.
On the lighter side, the shawl is a pretty golden yellow color. It matches the color of my living room wall almost exactly. Coincidence? I don't think so. Another reminder that God cares intimately about the details of our lives, even down to picking the right color of yarn to match my decor. :) ...... God's Fingerprints.
Untethered… and Running On
1 year ago
God is so good, Carrie! I pray that He will show you his goodness over and over in the days to come. I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts here--you are such an encouragement to me, friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this with us, Carrie. I didn't know your mom passed away. I am so sorry for your loss. It's kind of "funny", but not a coincedence, that today marks exactly one year since my dad's funeral and you just "happened" to post this. You really encouraged me. My biggest lesson last year also was that God cares deeply and intimately for me and is the true source of joy in hard times. What a great lesson to learn and tell others about. I was really moved by the prayer shawl story and I know it will always be a reminder of God's love and faithful care for you and yours. Hugs to you, Jasna
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing from you heart, Carrie. It is so good to hear about God's love and His faithfulness in your loss, even in the details. Thanks for being His faithful witness. May He richly bless you through your writings. I look forward to reading them.
ReplyDeleteOh Carrie, what a beautiful story. I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered. I'd rather you not have to start this chapter either. As I sat at my computer last weekend, watching the back of your head and your brothers and your dad and all the children and spouses that are part of your mom's family, I just wept. I wept with you for your loss. It was really touching to actually see you as I listened to the memorial service being broadcast live. I loved how everyone remembered your mom for loving pretty things. I know she passed that on to you, which I think is a big reason that I've always been drawn to you. It's evident in your home, your children, the way you talk, even this blog. It's all beautiful and I love you. Thank you for writing this. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, Thank you for sharing this "fingerprint" from your life. I look forward to joining you on your journey here- I too continue to see God's fingerprints in my life and am constantly amazed at his attention to detail- always what I need even when I don't think I "need" it. Joy is also a matter I found myself contemplating last year- never can be taken away Praise God!! I love you! ((((((Hugs))))))
ReplyDeleteYour student once again, Petra
Beautiful blog, sweet cuz. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more from the songbird. Love you! XO
ReplyDeleteWow! I am so glad the shawl touched you in that way. I was hoping it would give you comfort to know that there are a lot of people praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteIt was a strange feeling when you asked me how you knew me because after I got home from your mom's memorial, I kept thinking of this picture I had of your mom and Kevin from A LONG TIME AGO. I looked it up in my photo album and found so many pics of you, Kevin and quite a few of your mom on various retreats and church events. It really took me back to that time. So when you asked me that, immediately all those pics I looked at earlier this week went flashing through my mind but I couldn't put it into words and fell back on who my parents were; but now thinking about it, it wasn't school, it wasn't Kevin or my parents, I remember you best from those church retreats and events; always with a smile on your face. Your mom had a personality and relationship with God that drew people to her and you know what? So do you! Your blog is a blessing to read and I look forward to reading about all that God reveals to you through this difficult time.
Love, Sherry (Christophersen) Windham :)
OK people, so if you haven't already figured it out, the mystery of the unknown woman has been solved. :) Sherry Windham is Sherry Christopherson from my growing up years. :)It doesn't change the story much though. :)
ReplyDeleteCarrie, I am so happy that I took a few monents to stop and read your new blog. In you following your heart and finding a way to let God heal you,in turn, you are touching other people in a profound way. So many of us don't stop and truly greive and let ourselves heal from the loss we feel, but hearing your words, makes us remember that God is with us and is leaving us with footprints to follow. Keep up the wonderful words. Oh and if you ever need some planting advice, your sort of a cousin thru marriage is here for you. I am an addict, and well, would love to help. You and your family are in my prayers, take care!!
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