21 Days?

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. It's been 21 days + 3, and I'll just tell you... living without my mom is not ever going to become a habit! And I'm glad. See, Mom shows up everywhere, and will for a very long time to come. She's in this sunny day - "Whatchoo doing on this beautiful day?" - she would have said. She's in the prayers of my children, who still thank God at night for Nana (and Grampa too!). It's in the funny sayings and nick names we have - well, I won't go into that. It could be embarrassing. :) She's in the tiny new growth buds on my rose bushes, which she definitely would have noticed, and the four inch high daffodil shoots coming up in my yard. She's in my pot of chicken soup on the stove. Well, not really, but she did teach me how to boil a chicken carcass and make chicken soup out of it. She's in my recipe box, where half the recipes are in her handwriting, and are family favorites from my childhood. She's in my living room - the display of teacups and saucers we both have and love. She's in the pictures on my wall. She's in the mug I'm using for my cup of tea - specially picked by her for me. And she's in that lovely house up the hill, where all I have to do is walk in the door and the essence of Mom is everywhere. I find these things comforting: blessed reminders of a wonderful lady, and how much a part of me she was and is.

And these are just a few of the little reminders of who she was that will always be with me. I know she will show up in the deeper things of life too. Like my faith - I have her example to follow. My children - who share some of her personality likenesses and many memories with Nana. My Dad - who knew her better than anyone. My siblings who grew up with me - having the best Mom in the world (maybe you think yours was the best, but you gotta admit, mine was pretty special!) There are countless other ways I will find her and see her in the days, months and years to come. Yes, it is painful, but I'll take the pain that comes with the blessing of having had such a wonderful friend, mom, and influence in my life for so many years over not having her in my life at all. Thank you Jesus, for allowing me 38 1/2 years with such a wonderful Mom. I'm sorry there weren't more, but I'm grateful for the quality of the years we had.