A Cold, A Card, and a Calling....

....and a rose bush, but that didn't start with "C".

A Cold....

A couple of days after Mom died, I got a nasty cold. A "lasts four weeks need antibiotics to get rid of it" kind of cold. This week I am finally feeling like myself again. I call it one of God's fingerprints; a blessing in disguise. Why? Well, I'll tell you! :) I got sick for a few days back in August. The rest of the family was sick for a week and a half. Once school started it seemed like I had a sick kid home at least every couple of weeks if not more. Then in October, the kids and Reid got very sick. I think it was the dreaded Swine Flu. They all had high fevers, body aches, fatigue, headaches and sore throats. A couple of them even had upset tummies. They were sick for two weeks. But guess what? I didn't get even one symptom! After that I still have had sick kids quite a bit. My constant prayer and prayer request for others to pray was that God would keep me well so that I might be able to spend time with Mom and be able to help out up at their house while she was sick. If I hadn't caught a cold right after she went to be with Jesus I'm not sure I would have recognized and appreciated the fact that He kept me well all those months even when there was sickness in my house. GOD IS SO GOOD!

A Card... (two actually)

There were a couple of cards recently that have lifted my spirits, or come right when I needed them. One was from a friend, Tanya, in Klamath, who put a card in the card basket at the memorial service. I just read it finally yesterday. In it she acknowledged how much Mom had meant to her. She also wrote about how she could imagine how hard this will be for me not to be able to share my kids milestones, weddings, etc., get motherly advice, and enjoy her sunny disposition. Painful to read, but I cannot explain the comfort it brings when someone understands the depth of our loss, and is not afraid to share in our grief. Thank you to all my family and friends for your part in sharing this load with my family. You are a very precious part of the process and I love you for participating with us.

Yesterday I went shopping for Valentine's Day cards for Reid, the kids and Dad. It was hard. I had to pick cards for "Dad" and "Grandpa", minus the "Mom" and "Nana". Ugh. :) On top of that there was this cute couple about my parents' age next to me chuckling and discussing which card they ought to pick for their grandson. Ouch. I barely made through Fred Meyer without losing it! :) Later in the afternoon, I went to help out at Katie's Valentine party at school. The other room mom, whom I have known since we first moved to Dundee and whose daughter is one of Katie's good friends, had stuck a card in the bag of party goods she had sent to the party. It was a sweet card offering to spend time with me or anything else I might need. Inside the card was a gift certificate to get my nails done!!! Maybe it sounds superficial of me, but it lifted my spirits to receive a pampering gift. :) I haven't had my nails done in years and am excited for such a treat! A well timed thoughtful note and gift. Thank you, Lord! :) And thank you, Anita.

A Calling....

Last week I began wondering what God would have for me now that my life has taken a drastic turn. See, the original plan when Mom and Dad moved up here was for Mom and I to have craft days, have lunch together, do our Costco shopping together, and in general hang out together. That's what best friends do, right? (I know that Mom had lots of best friends, and had some of those same plans with her other friends too!) Dad, if you're reading this, I'd love to do some of these things with you too, but I'm not sure how you feel about shopping and craft days. :)

So now I find myself with a considerably less full plate, though definitely not by choice. It causes me to wonder what God would have me do with my life now. Of course always at the top of my priorities has been and will continue to be serving God, caring for my family and making my home a haven. But I think there might be room for more. :) On Tuesday at Bible Study Beth Moore addressed just such a thing in her talk. I was so excited! I felt like she was talking right to me! We are studying Esther, and Beth was saying how Esther had faced a huge crisis in her life. She said that often we coast along in a life of comfort and ease and then God uses a huge crisis to pivot our heels and turn us in a new direction, toward the destiny He has designed for us. Hits home for me! I would have loved a life that included my mom in all the ways mentioned above and mentioned in that card from Tanya, and will so terribly miss her and her involvement in the lives of my kids and my family. Let's face it. It will be hard at best and even miserable at times. But I guess that means God has a different destiny for me. I have no idea what that might be, but I'm praying about it, am excited to see what He has for me and am waiting on Him to lead and guide me on this new path.

Oh yes! The rose bush! I almost forgot. A few days ago another friend brought me a rose bush to plant in our yard. She said it just seemed like a perfect thing to honor and remember Mom. Something beautiful that will bloom year after year and bring beauty and joy. Little did she know that roses were Mom's favorite flower, and that our family has a history of rose gardens. My Dad's dad died in his rose garden (at least I think that's right...). My mom's parents always had a rose garden. Mom and Dad planted at least one rose in most of the places they lived. There is even one they planted still living at the duplex where they lived in Corvallis while Dad went to grad school some 40ish years ago. Reid and I are carrying on the tradition. We had several rose bushes at our Texas house, and so far have four (soon to be 5 now!)planted in our front yard. Reid and the kids plant one for me every Mother's Day. So my friend unknowingly added to special memories and family tradition.

See how God is showing me daily the depth of His compassion? He cares so much for us. I am constantly warmed by His involvement in even the little things in my life. And by how many times in the last month He has carried me, and been God with flesh on through my friends and family.