The Only Constant in Life...

 It is said that the only constant in life is change. And holy moly, have we all seen a lot of change lately! It seems every day there are new COVID updates and changes that affect our every day routines and practices. On top of all that, our entire world as we know it seems unstable right now in many other arenas. In the Kisling family, we have experienced many of these changes caused by the state of our world right now. But on top of all of that, August 1st - 23rd (three short weeks!) have brought a storm of changes, both good and hard. I'm feeling kind of tossed about, with no solid place to land. 

August 1st: Angel, our family dog for the last 13 1/2 years, tripped a few times, had a very bloated tummy, slept all day and wasn't breathing right. We took her to the vet, and they let us know she was suffering from cancer and it was her time to go. : ( (sorry- that's the very short version..)

August 2nd: At 7:30 am, we all sat with Angel at the Vet's office as she fell asleep, and breathed her last. Oof! It was such a hard thing!(again - the short version..) But God is good. We were just about to leave for a week of vacation, so it is so good that it happened before we left, and not while the housesitter was there. It happened so fast... no long drawn out process for Angel. All four kids were home and able to be there with her. One week earlier or later and that would not have been the case. We miss her very much. :(

August 3rd: We arrived in Thousand Oaks, CA and attended the first wedding of the Meyers family grandkids. Our nephew Andrew married a beautiful (inside and out!) young lady named Taylor. It was such a beautiful wedding, and a joy to hear the tributes to both of them and the families they were raised in. Again, God is so good!

August 4th: We started the morning catching up with a friend of both mine and Reid's from high school. It was so good to catch up with Rick. Their family is in the midst of some big changes as well.

We spent the afternoon and night with my cousin Hilary's family. The girls all had so much fun together, and we were there during the beginnings of what promises to be an incredible journey for their oldest daughter, Claire. (Check out her song, Backyard Boy! #shamelessplug :) ) Also while we were there, Hilary and I had some really good conversations. She's such a gem!

August 5th: We visited Westmont College for Natalie, assuming it was a non-possibility because of the cost, but worth stopping by since we were in the area. She loved the school, and they have some awesome opportunities, the elementary ed. program seems awesome, and the scholarship opportunities look promising! There may be an unexpected shift in what's possible for her next year!

Then we spent the next two evenings with long time friends, the Linebargers. It is always refreshing, fun and relaxing to be with them.

August 7th: We moved Katie into her off campus apartment in Fresno. So exciting! We are so happy to see her settled in with three other great girls in a brand new apartment not far from all the places she needs to be! But... this marks the end of an era.... Katie will most likely stay there in Fresno from now on... no coming home for the summer anymore. It's as it should be, but, oh! my mama heart! :) I'm so grateful for the extra time we had with her this year since she came home early due to COVID.

August 8th: We returned home from a very fun and full vacation. Cameron (who had moved home while we were gone and will be there until February when he will leave for a year long internship at a Christian camp in France) had let us know that our cat Mimzie had been missing for a couple of days. She never returned and we think a coyote got her. : ( She was my cuddle buddy, so I'm missing her.

August 9-16 was spent shopping, going through things, making check lists, and finishing last minute tasks as we prepared to take Rosalie to ACTS. Busy, busy, busy!

August 17th: Reid's mom Alicia came to stay with us for a few days because she had an appointment in Portland. It was special to have her here for a few days, even in the midst of all the crazy going on.

August 20th: I moved my work equipment from home and went back to work at my George Fox University office. I'm still working more than my usual hours for now, and it is big adjustment. I miss being at home all day with all my people, Moose dog and O'Malley cat. 

August 21st: Reid, Rose, Nattie and I got blizzards and went up to Bald Peak to watch the sunset and star gaze. It was our last hang out time with Rose before she left on Sunday. There was much laughter, beauty and falling stars! 

August 23rd: We drove to Tieton, WA and helped Rosalie set up her room at ACTS, visited with her roommates, ate dinner together, had a time of worship and heard what she will be experiencing over the next 4 months, and then left her there. Ah! How can this be?! It is wonderful to have peace knowing we left her in a place where she will be loved and nurtured, where she will grow deeper in love with Jesus, and is living in such a beautiful place. But it's weird not having her around. There's another girl shaped hole in our family home now. Natalie mentioned that she and Rosalie have never been apart from each other for longer than a week. : o That will be an adjustment for sure!

Also, Austin, our gym coach is moving to Utah this week! For the last year and a half, Austin has pushed, encouraged and guided me and our whole family in all things fitness. I had never really done much for exercise besides walking, so to lift weights, run, do chin ups, box jumps, burpees (yuck!) and all that has been a new, challenging and rewarding experience, and Austin made it fun. :) Now what?!

And so... here we are. I keep hoping things will settle into some kind of routine, but I'm not sure when or if that will happen in the next several months. We're getting a kitten tomorrow. :) Another change, but I'm hopeful it will be a fun, sweet distraction and comfort.

I began with the saying "The only constant in life is change." But I know another constant. And it is this other constant that gives me assurance that I am safe and cared for, even when my world is rocked and it feels like there's no place to land. God is constant. God is MY constant. Constant Comfort, constant Strength, constant Peace, Wise Counsel, Listener, my Rock, my Hope. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know He's got me. I know He's got my people. I know I'm growing through all of this. I know I will be a better person, stronger in my faith because of experiencing all these changes. God is teaching me, one who loves routine and planning, to live in the moment, to take things one day at a time, to find things to be grateful for in the middle of the storm, and to find joy and look for the good during this tumultous time. Also, it reminds me how much I need grace, and how much I need to extend grace to others. :)

Tending Roses

I just finished reading a book called Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate. It has filled my heart and mind with so many ponderings, so much wonderfulness, that I find myself here in this blog space wanting to process. (Which is what I usually do here.... process. I'm thankful for the ability to process here through writing!)

First off, the title Tending Roses brings me to a tender spot in my heart. Tending rose gardens is part of my family history that I treasure, though to look at my current rose bushes, one might wonder about that! My grandfather on my dad's side died tending to his rose garden before I knew him. My grandparents on my mom's side had beautiful roses, lots of them, and I believe they were one of my grandma's favorite flowers. My parents planted roses everywhere they lived, even at a little duplex they lived in for a while when they were first married. And Reid and I decided to carry on the tradition, planting roses at our house in Texas, and here at our house in Dundee. In fact, we have plans to create a nice rose garden in our backyard sometime in the next year or so and give ourselves a do-over since the roses in our front yard are unfortunately sickly and uncared for....( which is actually part of the theme of the book. But I'll get to that later.) My mom loved her roses so much. Always, when they were in bloom, there were vases full of roses on our dining room table and in various places throughout my childhood home. The year she moved up to Dundee, the year she died, my dad planted a rose garden for her. Each child and each grandchild picked a favorite rose of their choosing to plant in Nana's rose garden. I remember the trip to the nursery fondly. I have a picture of her surrounded by all of us, she with her oxygen tubes and sitting in a chair, our kids and my brother's kids small and so cute. :) So to read a novel with tending roses as a central theme, a metaphor for what's important in life, held a special relevance for me.

The grandmother in the book reminded me fondly of my grandma. Sometimes a bit harsh with her words and expectations, yet with a soft spot for little children, a hearty laugh and often times a wise and generous spirit underneath all her little irritations and rules. It was fun to grin and relate to the grand-kids in this story, some of the expectations and rules the exact same as my granny held for me.

The granddaughter in this story, Kate, and her husband Ben are up and comers in their fields, with all the toys, nice cars and preparations to purchase a nice house in the near future. They have a 4 month old who was born with heart complications and Kate is on leave for several months. Grandma Rose has had a mild stroke which is causing some memory lapses and things, and Kate and Ben offer to spend a few weeks with her while the family decides what is to be done about Grandma's care. As they remove themselves from the rat race of their lives, they begin to change their perspective on what's important in life, and lest I spoil the book, I won't go into the details any further. But once again, I could relate.

In this strange time of COVID-19 quarantine, many of us have had our busy lives come to a complete halt. Our jobs are either on hold, lost or being done from home. Our kids are doing school at home online. Our college kids have come home early. Our kids' extra curricular activities have come to a screeching halt and in many cases, so have their jobs. Now I realize that this is no light matter for so many, and there is extreme hardship due to the stay at home orders for many. I also realize that our kids and so many others have lost so much because of this - seniors don't get to finish out their year and have all the graduation fun, trips have been cancelled, weddings and gatherings of many kinds are not a possibility or are drastically different from what people have dreamed and planned for, and on and on. We in our family are not immune to the effects of it either, and have our own losses and disappointments to rise above. So, though I am well aware of all the down side of things, I am also blessed by the good that has come from this time. I am only speaking for my own experience in this, so please take no offense.

There is such a correlation for me between what happens for Kate and Ben, and for the odd opportunity we have been given as a family because of COVID-19. It has slowed our lives down so much! We have spent so much more time together - doing house projects together, baking and cooking together, eating dinner together nearly every night, watching lots of movies together, playing games, doing puzzles, reading books, taking a day trip to my aunt's beach house and so much more. We have been given time to pause, to enjoy a more relaxed pace, to open our eyes and hearts to those around us, and to the beautiful world around us. I am so thankful this happened in the Spring, and not the Fall/ Winter holiday season or in the dead of Winter! How lovely to be able to garden, enjoy blossoms on trees and flowers blooming, grasses turning green and the sunshine warming us - well at least more than in winter! :) Anyway... I am treasuring this time to stop and "tend the roses" ...slow down and bring life back to the heart of what matters most - faith, family and home. Friends too -  but that's not so easy right now.) Life will get back to its bustling busy-ness at some point, and to be honest, I look forward to returning to at least most of the activity. But I will hold on to this precious time and the memories we have made. And maybe, just maybe, I'll take better care of my roses from now on as a reminder to take time and care for the beautiful things of life.

Post Christmas Blues

Does anyone else get the post Christmas blues or is it just me?

I miss the extra laughter, the extra music and the extra conversations that happen because everyone is around the house more.
I miss gathering with extended family multiple times to eat, hang out, play games and chat.
I miss parties, and bringing fun snacks to the parties, and not having to cook as much because of parties and extended family meals together.
I miss having extra help around the house and in the kitchen - which happens because there's no school, no homework and less work and sports practice.
I miss more rested and relaxed children and husband.
I miss Katie - now back at school and busy already, even though classes don't start until next week.
I miss the anticipation of Christmas morning gift time - all the planning and shopping for just the right gifts and watching faces light up when they are opened.
I miss staying up late and sleeping til I wake up.
I miss all the cheery decorations, and the pretty Christmas tree.
I miss Cameron coming over more often to hang out, since his schedule is easier and siblings are around.
I miss my Christmas mugs.
I miss receiving Christmas letters and cards and pictures of families and friends that I love.

On the flip side, I do like being back into a routine.
I like having a bit of alone time in the morning to reflect and spend time with God.
I like the more open, crisper, less cluttered look of the house with just the regular decor. And...hmmm...

Sorry to be so "Bah, humbug!". Just keeping it real here. :)