One of THOSE Days

Ever had one of THOSE days where too many things go wrong or just don't click? I don't usually have days like that. Maybe moments,or even a couple of hours. But today.... today, I tell you, has been one of THOSE days.

Actually, it started last night. I didn't sleep well. Too hot, then too cold, then Reid stole the covers. You know how it goes. So I got up at my usual time - 5:30. Things started just fine. I had my prayer time, woke the two older kids up, and then stuff started happening.

I was preparing a roast for dinner tonight. I wanted to get it in the crock pot before I woke the younger girls up at 7:15. So I was searing it in a pan, talking with the older kids, preparing three lunches and two breakfasts. They needed to leave in 5 minutes or so, and I realized I hadn't made Reid's oatmeal yet. Thankfully he walked in right before I started it and let me know that he didn't need breakfast this morning. Then he stood in the kitchen. Watching me. Not. Doing. Anything. To. Help. Yep. Then he asked me if I had remembered to return the Donaldson's car keys to them sometime over the last week, which I hadn't. He proceeded to tell me that I'd better get the keys to them this morning because Tom may need his truck today. And "Oh, did you remember to bring my water bottle home from the water polo game last night?" (I had awakened in the night worried because I couldn't remember bringing it home. I had asked him to leave it with me at the game when he left early for a meeting.) I told him I may have left it at the pool, and he huffed out of the house. Great way to start the morning. (I had permission to write this. We are a real live human couple with real live little tiffs and such after all.)

The roast was finished searing and I put it in the crock pot. Then I went to take a quick shower and fix my hair before waking the littles up. Got them up, worked on their lunches and breakfasts, finished getting myself ready for the day. Looked for the potatoes in the fridge to add to the roast. Uh-oh. No potatoes. And oh yeah - I forgot to buy carrots, too. Great. Roast with no potatoes and carrots. Oh well. Figure it out later.

I was just about ready to fix my breakfast and noticed that we were out of milk. Shucks! Peanut butter toast in the car, I guess. Lunch! I almost forgot to fix my own lunch to take with me to my aunt's house where I clean every other Thursday! Threw in a bagel, a pear and a cookie and called it good.

Oh yeah. The dog. She's been misbehaving in the garage when we leave her the last couple of times. We had planned to attach her leash to a stake in the yard this time, but now I was out of time. I left her in the garage, but this time on a leash.

Got the girls to school and drove off to Lake Oswego for the day of cleaning and conversation with my Aunt Pam. Hmmm.... gas tank was low. Great. I knew I'd make it there and hoped it was enough to get back and maybe get gas before time to pick up the middle school car pool kids.

Had a great conversation with my wonderful auntie. Worked fast and furiously to clean her house for four hours. Stressing about whether I'd run out of gas or not, I made it back to Newberg in time to get gas. Picked up the car pool kids. Opened the trunk to put their instruments in. The trunk wouldn't re-latch. Got out in the rain and did car surgery and hoped it would stay shut.

Dropped all the girls off. Brought Katie home for a very quick snack before taking her to piano lessons. Opened the garage door to mass chaos in the garage. Now there was not only the knocked over chicken feed that we hadn't had time to clean up from the dog's last escapade. Now there was added to that a shredded coke box, a shredded basket all over the floor, shredded plastic bags that used to hold empty pop cans, empty pop cans, Christmas lights (?), and a whole bunch of other stuff strewn about the area she could reach from her leash. Argh. It looked like a tornado had been through there. Seriously.

Fortunately, things began to look up a little from there. Got the girls off to piano, and Natalie to a friend's house. That gave me a half hour to breathe, and to write. And shoot, there's still lots of hours left in this day to bring it around. Just thought y'all might enjoy a little dose of the occasional hairy day in the Kisling home. :)

On the bright side, I loved visiting with my Aunt Pam, and I went to visit my neighbor whose husband died last month. Wouldn't you know I left her house encouraged, when I had hoped to be the one to encourage her. :) And my three girl chickies are always a bright spot in my day. (Haven't seen the boy yet today.) Here's hoping for a good evening! :)

And I guess we'll just have salad and bread and butter with the roast tonight. I'll get potatoes and carrots for tomorrow night. Oh... and I found the water bottle in the car. :)

Gifts #102 - 200

I am so loving this Fall weather! The cooler weather makes me want to bake, so I've got Poppy Seed Bread in the oven, the laundry is going, and my motivatedmoms.com chore list for today says to spend time on a craft or hobby, so here I am spending time on one of my hobbies, my blog.

I've continued in my quest for finding little gifts in every day. It's fun! And I love how the seasons of the year and of life offer new things to be thankful for along the way. There is always something fresh to thank the Lord for, and I even try to thank him for the things He gives that aren't necessarily pleasant. So here's more of my list.....

102. Fresh, free garden veggies given by friends.
103. Birthday dinner and a game of Ticket to Ride with Kevin.
104. Home made ice cream.
105. A new "mom" who cares enough to make home made sorbet for my dairy free girls.
106. An excellent report at REACH.
107. Predawn sky - deep periwinkle blue.
108. A visit with Becky at the pool.
109. A visit with Kristi at the park.
110. Coupons!
111. Saving $75 dollars on shoes for 4 kids.
112. People who read my blog. :)
113. Katie's happiness over her 1st babysitting job.
114. Rosie and Isabelle working out a conflict beautifully.
115. A house for the Donaldson's
116. The way God alone orchestrated the events and timing for the Donaldson's new home.
117. Jeana's happy willingness to paint my dresser.
118. A spontaneous evening drop in visit from Dad and Mary.
119. Pretty pink petunias in a cobalt blue pot.
120. A fresh coat of blue paint in my bedroom.
121. Good conversation with Reid on the phone last night. (He was out of town.)
122. Mug with cheery cherries on it.
123. Nattie's contagious, crinkly eyed smile.
124. Rosie's graceful ways.
125. Katie's generous and compassionate heart.
126. Cam's loyal steady ways.
127. The Lord's care, protection and character building in the lives of our children.
128. The smell of garlic while dinner's cooking.
129. REACH - Charlie and Conceicau.
130. The taste and feel of popping a sun warmed cherry tomato in my mouth straight from the vine.
131. Dinner and a movie with girlfriends.
132. Kids enjoying their time with "Uncle" Charlie.
133. A headache. (God wants us to be thankful for everything, right? Not just the flowery good stuff!)
134. His provision and care of our family.
135. New colored gel pens.
136. Preparations for a new school year.
137. Motivated Moms chore lists.
138. The smell of fabric softener outside the laundry room window.
139. My cleaning jobs.
140. That the brokenness of the piano was just a pencil that was stuck! (To think I didn't even check for that for over six months! *sigh*)
141. People out walking at dusk - all over the neighborhood, enjoying the warm summer evening.
142. Calendars with big squares.
143. Old, yucky carpet. (I don't have to worry about it! )
144. A new organization system. (Hope it works!)
145. My Bible.
146. Girls that stay up late talking. (Even though it frustrates me because they are cranky the next day.)
147. Cleaned off kitchen counters.
148. Smooth legs. :)
149. Parents who live close by.
150. Another woman to share my dad's life, and to be in our lives.
151. Fresh blackberries!
152. Blackberry stained lips and fingers on the girls who picked the berries.
153. Rhubarb from my mother-in-law's garden. Lots of it!
154. One of Mom's old journals - only a few pages written in - 1st page about talking to me while I was pregnant with Rosalie.
155. Bringing that journal home to continue the legacy. (Which would work better if I'd actually write in it!)
156. Talking with Dad about Mom.
157. Excited teens exploring the High School, getting ready for 9th grade.
158. Playing worship music with Becky while the kids play Animalopoly.
159. Becky's gift of groceries.
160. Blackberry pie.
161. Rhubarb crisp.
162. My husband's leadership.
163. Blogging.
164. The library!
165. Our visit to Friendsview Retirement community.
166. Our sweet kids - patient and kind at Friendsview.
167. Mopped kitchen floor.
168. Beautiful gladiolas on my kitchen table - a gift from Reid.
169. New beginnings - a new sport, a new school year, a new friendship.... all kinds!
170. Louise Madson - lively, wonderful 80 something year old.
171. Time with Jeana.
172. Freshly painted dresser and mirror - with Jeana's help.
173. Free paint to paint the dresser with.
174. New knobs - free! - for the dresser.
175. Bickering kids - teaches me patience, teaches them how to talk through and work out conflict.
176. The beauty and peace of the vineyard next to our house.
177. The smell of Pine-Sol and fresh clean floors.
178. Pay day!
179. The freedom in a budget.
180. That Reid is a fix-it kind of guy who knows how to fix almost anything.
181. A great 1st day of school for all the kids.
182. Friends for Katie in her classes.
183. A confident Cameron.
184. That Rosalie likes her teacher.
185. A sweet bunch of girls in Natalie's class.
186. Time alone with Katie after school.
187. Park time with the school moms. Yay!
188. Fun time helping Cam study - laughing with him at goofy things the sisters say.
189. A good fight with Reid - resolved conflict, talked through feelings.
190. Homemade goodies to put in the school lunches.
191. New soft cozy slippers.
192. New lipstick.
193. 1st day of school pictures.
194. A full refrigerator.
195. The mowed yard (no more tall dandelions here and there!)
196. Carpools!
197. Water Polo - fun to learn a new sport.
198. A wandering, pondering walk through Costco with no time restraints.
199. Walking Rosalie and Natalie to school.
200. New book bags, lunch boxes, school supplies - all fresh and ready for a new school year.

The First Day Of School

Ahh, the first day of school.... The anticipation, the nerves, the excitement, the wonder of it all. I love the first day of school - the promise of a new beginning, the expectation of things to come, and wondering what it will be like this year. The kids all had different perspectives and I thought it would be fun to look back some day and see what they thought on this first day of school in 2011. So here it is....

Cameron..

Excited. A freshman! Ready. Confident. Sure of where his classes are, how to get there. Remembers his locker combo already. Asks for help to straighten his hair because it's picture day. Chooses to wear his old tennis shoes instead of his new ones, because the old ones match his outfit better. ( Is this my son?! :) ) I can't wait to hear how his first day of high school goes! I pray it's good!



Katie....

Excited to see her friends. Apprehensive, because it seems none of her friends have the same lunch period. Sad that few of her friends seem to be in her same classes. Glad to be a 7th grader now. Can't wait for band! Still somewhat excited and looking forward to school. Waiting to see what God has for her this year. For her, I look forward to hearing how God will use her and bless her and surprise her in ways she least expects.



Rosalie...

Excited to see her friends. Sad that only one of her closest 5 buddies is in her class. More confident than last year. Wearing her favorite pink, sparkly, ruffly skirt. Loves her new book bag. Packing her own lunch this year she says. Ready to take on the new school year.




Natalie....

Easy going Nattie. Cheerful and ready to go. Glad to have the teacher she wanted - because it's different than who Rosalie had. :) A little pouty because the boy she will be sitting next to "like liked" her last year and bothers her. :) Forgot to brush her teeth! Oops! :) Excited to be with friends and ready to learn.





Reid...

Stayed home from early morning men's group at church to help with the first day of school happenings. Then took Katie to school and now off to work. Love him! :)

Me...

Missing the kids already, but happy to be back into a routine. Ready to take on the new year. Dying to know what's happening in each kid's life right at this minute!! Can't wait to hear about the first day of school. Now it's time to finish the morning chore checklist, then off to Costco for me.

The Journal

Two of my friends have recently posted blog stories about the lives of certain inanimate objects. They are more savvy than I, and know how to post names in their blog that lead to a link that connects you to that person's blog. Like if they typed "Carrie" it would be a different color and if you clicked on it, it would take you to my blog. Since I don't know how to do that, I'll just tell you that it is Becky and Jeana that have inspired me to write the story of..... The Journal. So here it is...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful spiral bound journal. It was full of lined pages just waiting to receive a story. A woman who loved beautiful things and loved to journal fell in love with the beautiful journal and bought it for her very own.



She started writing in it one day, just relating the happenings of the day, even wondering on paper if she would be the faithful writer that she desired to be. She wrote of talking with her daughter on the phone, in far away Texas. The beautiful journal was very happy. It loved keeping memories for this wonderful lady. It loved the warm feeling of her hand on it's pages as she wrote. And it was proud to bear such beautiful handwriting in it's pages, in purple ink that matched the lines on the pages.



Not long after that first entry, the woman joined her family on a trip to Nebraska. Her dad, her husband, her children and grandchildren and her siblings were on this trip. They visited many memorable sights from the father's growing up years, saw the old homestead, where he went to school, where he met his wife (their mother) and many more places that the father remembered; and were meaningful to the family with Native American heritage. The woman recorded many of the stories the father told, writing details of the family's history in the pages of the journal. Oh what joy to contain a lifetime of memories, the history of a family! The journal was very pleased and proud to be a part of this family's heritage keeping.

Well, life happened, and the beautiful journal got set aside after the trip to Nebraska. The woman and her husband eventually moved to be nearer to the rest of their family, and the beautiful journal was placed on a bookshelf in the woman's new bedroom. The daughter became the housekeeper for her parents and on occasion would read some of the woman's journal entries as she dusted.

Time moved on, and the wonderful woman died, making her writings in the journal all the more precious to the daughter. The daughter decided she might like to have the journal, to pick up where the wonderful woman left off, and start recording her own daily happenings in the beautiful journal's pages. The woman's husband requested that the pages with the woman's writing be torn out before the daughter took the journal to her house, thinking how wonderful it would be to make a scrap book of the family history writings. The daughter did a naughty thing then. She tore out the Nebraska trip pages as requested by her father, but left in the first page.... the part about the wonderful woman's conversation with her back when she had lived in Texas and was pregnant with baby number three. (Shhh! Please don't tell my dad! :) )

The journal was sad to lose the story of the family's history, but understood that it's pages would not be forgotten, but instead copied several times and put into a place of honor to be passed on to the woman's children and grandchildren someday. And secretly, it was pleased to keep at least one little remnant of the wonderful woman's writing.

And now the beautiful journal sits beside the bed of the daughter, ready and waiting to feel the warmth of her hand as she writes in its pages of the happenings of her life and the life of her family. Ready to bear the handwriting that is not quite so elegant as the mother's but bear's a resemblance even so.

101 gifts (My version of the "One Thousand Gifts" book)

A while back I started reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts". You've probably heard of it, or even read it. Well, I read about half of it, but honestly, I just don't do that well with non-fiction. I know, terrible confession. But it's true. I rarely make it through all of a non-fiction book. Anyway, the premise of the book stuck with me. Basically, it's to focus on the gifts God has put in our lives - tiny ones to huge ones, and doing so helps us live a life of gratitude, which helps us be more thoughtful, more focused on God, less gripey and complainy, and hopefully opens our eyes to the wonder of God all around us each and every day. The author recommends writing down a handful of blessings every day, and eventually you get to 1,000. Then it's time to start over and do another 1,000. I haven't been very diligent in getting to 1,000, but over the last several months, I have compiled a list of 100 or so (got a ways to go to reach 1,000!!)and my blog is a perfect place to record those blessings. I started in March, skipped some time from May through July, and am back at it. So here goes....

1. A 14 year old boy who still likes to be tucked in.
2. Kitten and Dog morning greetings.
3. Flannel pj's, old and soft.
4. Robin's egg blue.
5. The quiet of morning.
6. The smell of freshly brewed coffee.
7. Anticipation of a day at Aunt Pam's.
8. Faithful old Sally-car.
9. Yellow kitchen and cherry valances.
10. A living room messy with life.
11. A yellow mug that says "Each day is a gift from God."
12. Coffee and a visit with Aunt Pam.
13. Little birdies with red wings and white breasts on the hedge.
14. Fat brown squirrel on a cement block.
15. Bright purple azaleas.
16. The promise of Spring.
17. Sunshine in the afternoon, warm on my skin.
18. Kids laughing and playing at the park.
19. Friends and chatting while the kids play.
20. Laura's message about keeping Katie while we go to Haiti.
21. Family time - relaxed, not rushed - around the dinner table.
22. Being called "Aunt Carrie" by Joseph.
23. Conversation with Katie about being nervous for the track meet.
24. Talking for an hour with my love.
25. Planning a menu with my love.
26. An achy body to remind me that I worked hard and am able to work hard.
27. Primroses peeking out of shadows.
28. Making muffins with Rosie.
29. A mommy sandwich with Rosie and Nattie crusts.
30. An evening at home.
31. Cleaning out the car - the whole family.
32. Girly giggles - both the fake ones and the real ones.
33. Lunch and fellowship with friends.
34. Talking with Katie girl about womanhood.
35. A son who does his work diligently and thoroughly.
36. A car that has served us well, met our needs for the last 10 years.
37. The opportunity to share that car with those who need it in Haiti.
38. Instrumental hymns playing on Pandora.
39. Handwriting that looks like Mom's.
40. Kitten peeking over the table top.
41. A husband who loves the Lord.
42. Sun rising in the cloudless blue.
43. Bright eyed, smiling little girl with "high up" ponytail. (Nattie)
44. Shopping and lunch with friends.
45. The reason for the shopping trip - bridal shower gift for future "Mary-mom".
46. Birds chirping in the quiet of morning.
47. Ticking clock - always steady, always sure.
48. The promise of starting over in a new day.
49. Wind blowing my hair wild through the open car window.
50. Setting sun shining on golden tall grasses.
51. Happy children swimming in Aunt Pam's pool.
52. A swimsuit I really actually like!
53. Prayers and dinner as a family.
54. Sunkissed cheeks and little noses.
55. A bed that's made.
56. The smell of Reid.
57. My new family/friends in Haiti.
58. Being up before everyone else.
59. Music!
60. Golden fields of wheat.
61. Bride and Groom. (Josh and Ashley)
62. Dancing whirling little girls.
63. A ride home with Rhonda.
64. Single perfect rose in sunshine.
65. Angels who cleaned my house top to bottom, including every speck of laundry done
while I was away in Haiti.
66. Air conditioning.
67. A new bed frame.
68. Blue and turquoise cotton pajama pants.
69. Clucking chickens.
70. Saturdays!
71. Warm summer air.
72. A clean house - thanks to my friends!
73. Rearranged laundry room that feels more spacious.
74. My handy hubby who spent time extending the washing machine hoses so that I could move the washing machine to a better location.
75. Fun pens.
76. Pictures- snapshots of life and special events.
77. My Haiti experience.
78. My Haiti friends.
79. Little girls' polka dotted toe nails.
80. Blossoming beauty in my Katie girl.
81. Watching my kids interact with little Gabriel.
82. Delicious gluten free goodies from a bakery near my friend's house.
83. Time with Rhonda and Steve.
84. Coffee and quiet in the mornings.
85. Son's face lit up, holding the fish he caught.
86. Playing Quiddler with friends.
87. Crazy antics of Tiger the kitten.
88. Loyal loving dog at the foot of my chair.
89. Roses! Beautiful and fragrant.
90. Growing tomatoes in the front yard.
91. A few moments alone in the middle of the day.
92. Waking to the smell of coffee - which means Reid was mindful of me this morning.
93. Being home after a short trip.
94. Sleeping in our own bed after a trip.
95. New school supplies.
96. Paper and pencil.
97. Sun streaming into the kitchen where I sit.
98. Fresh eggs from our chickens.
99. Motivated Moms task lists.
100. Friends!
101. Water Polo coach full of praise for the boy after the first day.

OK, it may have been tedious for you to read through this list, but I sure enjoyed revisiting all those blessings, big and small, mostly the small ones. :) Makes me look forward to continuing on - maybe even all the way to 1,000!

Haiti

People keep asking me if going to Haiti was a life changing experience for me. And I keep wondering if something is wrong with me because it wasn't an earth shattering, life altering experience for me. It is more a subtle new awareness I've gained by being there.

I loved being in Haiti. I can't wait to go back, and to take my kids. I miss my brothers and sisters I got to know there, and love that we are connected now, in spirit, in prayer, by phone and email and on facebook. :)

How does one describe in words what it felt like to smell the smells, see the people, ride on the street, feel the heat, end the day sweaty, dusty, hot, but filled? To be served and to serve? I can't put it into words eloquently, but I will try to relay a taste of what I experienced and came away with.

Much of our time was spent at the home of the St. Gelus family. Pastor Riccardo and his wife Misselaine have a vibrant ministry in Port Au Prince. They pour themselves and their resources into serving the people around them. It was such a blessing to be with them, to see their passion and love for people and for God. Our team put running water and solar power and appliances into their house. No more outhouse. No more outdoor water pump. No more cooler full of ice to cool things. Hello toilet, shower, kitchen sink, washing machine. Hello ceiling fans, dryer, and refrigerator. Things we just expect to have in our houses in America. God used us to bless them, so that they can be even further equipped and freed up to bless others. And that blessed us.

Riccardo and Misselaine are wonderful, humble people. They are content. They work hard. They have 6 great kids. :) I learned from them to remember that our joy, our contentment comes from Christ and in serving Him, and that the weather, my old ratty carpet with matted spots and a rip or two, my weedy yard, and many other "inconveniences" aren't worth complaining about.

Time was slower in Haiti. It seemed that we spent a lot of time trying to get from one place to another, just trying to buy supplies, eating :) and spending time with people. But you know what? Everything we set out to accomplish got done. And more! After about the third day, I stopped stressing about what time it was, and how we were going to spend the time we had, and just let myself go with the flow and be flexible. And I was always surprised at how much time seemed to be in each day! Coming home, that means not always rushing around trying to get my tasks done before I spend time with my family and friends, and realizing that everything will get done in time. And it does. :) People should often be a higher priority than tasks, though practically speaking there must be time for tasks too.

I loved spending time with the kids at Vacation Bible School. I loved playing with Emannuel and Rothschild (Riccardo and Misselaine's youngest two) and their cousins and friends. I loved riding around and laughing and talking with Jerry (their son) and Reggie, a family friend. They translated for us and drove us all over the place. I loved having long talks with Lindel, the neighbor teen who also translated for us. He was so hungry for learning and knowledge - a sponge. I loved sitting with Misselaine, even though we were unable to converse much because of the language barrier. She is very dear to my heart. I loved hearing Riccardo talk of his dreams for ministry, and seeing him interact with all of us, and all of the people that were always in and out of his house. I loved trying new fruits and foods. I loved visiting the kids in the orphanage. I loved getting a taste of Palto's life (their son who lives here in Newberg now and goes to our church.) I loved being there with my Dad, seeing him be God's hands and feet. I loved watching my husband preach while Riccardo interpreted, and seeing him serve in this country. I loved the unity of our team, and getting to know the other 11 members of our team even better than I knew them before. I loved riding through the streets and seeing all the people. I loved being about the only white people in a huge city. I loved being surrounded by children speaking Creole and trying to learn some of their language. I was fascinated by the traffic and the roads, how the people live, the tent cities, the street markets. I was saddened to see the destruction from the earth quake, the garbage filling the sidewalks and streets, the thousands of displaced people trying to get by day to day.

I'm not sure when we'll get to go back, but I know we will. And I look forward to it with an eager heart. Eager to see God do more amazing things. Eager to serve. Eager to bless and be blessed. And most of all, eager to spend more time with the family and friends I fell in love with there.

Entering New Territory

When Cameron was just a few weeks old, a lady who's children were grown came up to me at church one day and said "Just think, some day he'll have a deep voice and facial hair." I was a little irritated at the time, him being my first tiny little one, and me enjoying all the newness of a baby. :)

But guess what? She was right! :) At 14, his voice hasn't changed quite yet, and the facial hair is minimal, but it's coming. And he's a couple of inches taller than I am. Already at 5'11", I'm sure he'll be passing up Reid in just a few more months!

Lately it seems we've had to loosen our grip more than I am ready for, and it's happening fast. First came the night he asked "Mom, when am I allowed to ask someone to go out with me?" Uh-oh, here we go! (By the way, we decided it was alright, as long as he agrees to the parameters we set for him.)

Today, he rode his bike to the park to meet up with his friends. No big deal, right? Well, this park happens to be in Newberg, a whole 3 or so miles away. Still no big deal, right? The big deal is that in order to get there, he had to ride 2 miles along the side of Highway 99, just feet away from zooming cars and trucks. YIKES! I was a little nervous about it, but he arrived safely and called to check in once he got there. Besides, it's Saturday afternoon, and traffic is pretty tame at this time of day.

Sigh. Why do they have to grow up so fast? And why do we have to enter these new waters, inexperienced and fumbling our way through each new stage of a child's life? I have a feeling we are on the brink of some of the harder years, where the decisions we make and what we choose to allow or disallow is of a greater magnitude than ever before. I have a feeling that the letting go a little at a time is going to be oh so hard, and yet could be oh so sweet.

I love watching my children grow up and become young adults. They are becoming such wonderful young people! I just wish there was a way to know how to navigate these new waters with the kind of wisdom and grace that will bring them through safely, with maturity, confidence and most importantly, living lives that glorify God. Guess we have to leave that to the Lord, and just do the best we know how.

Here's my young man, then and now.