The Story of Rosalie

Whew! Time flies, life happens and I find myself behind in all areas of life, including my blog. I started this as a means of helping me through the grief of no longer having my very special, sweet mom on this earth. However, I also recognize that God's fingerprints aren't just on the big things in life, nor just the hard things in life, but in and on every aspect of day to day living. So, my blog will continue to help me process my feelings concerning Mom's death, but will also be a record of God's fingerprints in many other areas of my life.

It has been on my heart lately to write about Rosalie's story. I hesitate some, for her sake. She has a right to some privacy concerning her struggles, but at the same time, it is a story of God's faithfulness and care, and I would like to share that with others. I hope as she gets older and grows in wisdom and grace, she would agree that if it can encourage someone it is worth the risk of sharing. For those of you reading this, please, please keep Rosalie's feelings in mind, as I'm sure you will.

Let me take you back in time. It is October. Rosalie is about 18 months old. Cameron is 5, Katie is 3 and I am 6 months pregnant with Natalie. Reid is hard at work, earning his PhD and working 50-60 + hours a week at his job. He has taken on the responsibilities of another employee who had to be let go and has not yet been replaced. Needless to say, he is barely hanging on, just doing what has to be done to make it through. I am trying to do life with a kindergartner and two toddlers and a super busy husband and being pregnant. This sets the stage for the beginning of a long, hard, yet rewarding road. As I write this, I know there are many who are on much harder journeys with their own children, and I commend them and have a huge respect and compassion for them. I guess God just knows what each person can handle, and as I've mentioned before, my "what I can handle" levels are pretty low. I'm not proud of it, and God is definitely growing me in this area. Thankfully He is allowing me to grow very slowly over a long period of time. :)

When she was 18 months old, I took Rosalie to the doctor with some concerns. She wasn't walking yet and I thought there may be a problem with her feet. The doctor asked me how many words she could say. I told him she mostly says "mama" with a few other words. He was a man of few words. :) He told me he was sending us to a developmental psychologist to have Rosalie evaluated. I wondered what that had to do with her feet! Well, I and my pregnant emotions took Rosalie to see the psychologist lady. After the evaluation, she told me that Rosalie, at 18 months old, had the physical capabilities of a 9 month old and the mental capabilities of an 11 month old. The diagnosis was Sensory Integration Dysfunction.

WHAT!?! I couldn't believe it! I mean, I could - I knew there was something not right, but.... what?! Why couldn't it just be her feet and we'd put braces on them for a while and she'd be fine? And what the heck was Sensory Integration Dysfunction!? To this day, it is still not very commonly known of by the general population. Basically it is a dysfunction in the way a person takes in and processes information through their senses. It can manifest itself in many different ways and on many different levels. I now understand this to be a brain development issue more than anything. For Rosalie, it meant that she had low muscle tone, wouldn't look anyone in the eye or speak to anyone but her immediate family, was very sensitive to noise, and basically wasn't learning the things toddlers her age should know. Other issues presented themselves as time went on, like tantrums for no reason, etc... but that will come out later in the story.

Well, thus started a year and a half of early childhood intervention. A sweet young speech therapist named Megan (or Mag-an as Rosalie called her) came to our house every week to work and play with Rosalie, and an occupational therapist came once a week to work with Rosalie on walking and other physical activities. Rosalie got glasses to help her see better, too. She learned to walk with a little miniature walker. It was very cute. I used to wonder what the neighbors thought of the cute little girl in the glasses using her walker with the hugely pregnant mommy walking beside her up and down the sidewalk. It was January when she finally could walk, albeit unsteadily, for a little ways at a time. We still had to carry her a lot.

In February, Natalie was born. Now I had 4 children, ages 5 and under, and a still very busy husband. AND I lived a thousand million miles away from any family! I struggled to keep it all together. Can you say post pardom depression? :) At the time I didn't recognize it for what it was, but looking back, I think that characterizes myself pretty well for that season.

So where are the fingerprints? Well so far, they are as follows...

* There was help for Rosalie's "condition"

* Our church family brought meals for over a month after Natalie was born.

* A lady from church who had no children of her own and lived just a few minutes away was a huge blessing to me during all this. She sewed beautiful dresses for the girls. She would come hold Natalie so I could give the other kids a bath without worrying about the baby. She would bring dinner at a moment's notice when I'd had a rough day and couldn't get it together. And she was just there to be an encouragement to me when I needed it.

* When Natalie was 6 weeks old, Reid had to go out of town for 4 days. A friend from church (who had a family of her own) came and stayed one of those nights with me while he was gone. Natalie had a cold and wasn't sleeping well due to her very stuffy nose. Stephanie sat up with her until 3 am so I could get some sleep. Oh yeah, there happened to be a tornado warning that evening. I was so glad Stephanie was there with me to help herd the kids into the tub and keep an eye on the news!

* I write this next fingerprint in all seriousness and with much gratitude. During a time of much marital stress, God kept Reid and I together. It was not an easy time in our marriage, and it sometimes wasn't pretty, but with God's help, we made it through! :) (It was during this time that my aunt told me to "Love your husband", which I mentioned in the last post.)

* One time when we had gone to Oregon for a visit, the ladies from church somehow got our house key and thoroughly cleaned the whole house for me. I was humbled beyond words - they folded piles of clothes, picked up my messes and the kids messes, stacked my papers neatly and made the place sparkle. What a blessing, embarrassing as it was.

Well, That's probably enough to chew on for the moment. The journey has just begun, but my fingers are tired, and I have a list of things awaiting my attention... laundry..... dishes..... cleaning, etc. I'll try to get back to this soon and not leave my story hanging!