Mother's Day

Mother's Day... who knew that those two words, that day could hold such a vast array of thoughts and feelings in my heart? I was somewhat overwhelmed and definitely unprepared for all the thoughts and emotions that I experienced yesterday surrounding Mother's Day....

Celebration: I love being a mom! I have been blessed with four beautiful children and a wonderful husband, and that is a blessing worth celebrating! I love our little family's tradition of planting something new each Mother's Day. For many years we have planted a rose bush each Mother's Day, in honor of generations of rose garden lovers in my family. Last year we planted a peach (or is it apricot?) tree, and this year we are planting a Japanese Maple tree. Fun!

Heartache: All the while I am celebrating my own little world of blessedness, there is an underlying knowledge that not everyone experiences the joy in motherhood that God has given me. Many women are unable to have children, and have walked a long road of infertility, and I grieve with them. Some women have had to give up their babies for adoption, and I ache for them. Some women have a child with severe handicaps that are a challenge to live with day in and day out - a source of heartache and worry and sometimes fear for their little lives. Those are brave and wonderful women, and their children are precious. Still others have lost a child in death, and I can't even fathom their grief.  (Disclaimer: Please, please forgive me if I have missed a kind of mother's heartache!)

Sadness: Oh, how I miss my wonderful mom. She was my best friend, my cheerleader, my confidant. She motivated me, she inspired me, she encouraged me. She was cute and funny and silly, always positive, and wise. She suffered her illnesses with grace and faith. She loved my children like only a nana can, and had special relationships with each one of them. What a gaping hole she has left in our lives.

And yet, I am mindful of the many friends I know who have a broken relationship or no relationship at all with their moms. And I wish I could have shared my mom with them.

Thankfulness: I am so thankful for the years I did get with my mom, and that my kids were all old enough when she died that they still have special memories of her. I am thankful for my momma-Mary, whom my dad married almost two years ago. She has graciously adopted us into her heart and loves us well.

Responsibility: I was reminded yesterday through our pastor's sermon what a responsibility we moms have. To teach our children transparent tenderness, authentic spirituality, inner confidence, unselfish love, and self- discipline. To model a life well lived, that they may follow our example. To show them what it means to trust and depend on the Lord, in good times and in hard times. To teach them how to treat others, do their best in all they do, and how to navigate this ever changing world.

Mother's Day is truly a day loaded with all kinds of meaning. And..... I'm not sure how to end this well, and it's time to stir the granola in the oven, make the bed and fold some laundry so I can win my laundry race with Jeana and Becky, so..... guess it's just done. :) No eloquent ending, no words to ponder, no amazing thoughts or bits of wisdom. Just the thoughts in my brain, now written out, and an ending that is definitely real life. :) Here's to authenticity. :)