Twists and Turns

(Disclaimer.... this post is quite lengthy! Skip what you want... I mostly added everything for my own sake of remembrances. :) )

 Life is sure full of twists and turns, especially these days! I just reread the Christmas letter that I wrote for 2019. Ah, 2019 was such a good year! (see letter here..2019 Christmas Letter) Little did I know that just a few months later, life as we knew it would be turned upside down! We all know the challenges that 2020 brought us... missed proms, weird (but good!) graduations, lost sports seasons for the kids, online school, working from home, lost jobs, sickness, changed future plans, not to mention the fires, the long lasting smoke, riots everywhere, tumultuous political environment, etc.. I started a blog post about it, but never finished it. (I purposely didn't post this post, because it could be perceived as being insensitive to others who have suffered greatly because of COVID; experiencing deaths in their families, devastating loss of income, etc. This is just my personal experience, and my personal space to write about my family's experiences with it, so I do hope not to offend anyone, or cause anyone distress. 😳) Here is what I had written...

 Resilience. Strength. Perseverance. Kindness. Generosity. Support. Hope. As I reflect on 2020, these are the themes that return to my mind time and again. Maybe I see the world through rose colored glasses, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. :) I recognize there have been many hardships over the last 12 months, and that almost nobody I know has been untouched by the challenges our nation and world have experienced lately. But look through my rose colored glasses with me for just a bit and see what I see...

I see my children facing many disappointments with resilience, strength and perseverance. These disappointments range from missed proms, a very different graduation, job losses, online school, canceled sports seasons, and more. Yet through it all, they have grown, stayed mostly positive and have persevered. I believe the hard things they have had to experience this last year will make them better people. I believe they will come out of this stronger, with a deeper faith, more compassion, more aware of the sufferings of those around them, better able to empathize, and able to give of themselves to better the world and encourage the people around them.

I see our family spending much more time together, which at times can be challenging :) but most of the time is wonderful. And I see the bonds between the kids, between all of us, growing stronger as we spend more time together, doing home improvement projects, working puzzles, playing games, having movie marathons, cooking together, etc..

I see my friends serving myself and others by providing encouragement and meals when our family was sick with COVID a couple of weeks ago. And I know they have done this for others as well. I see them supporting each other and building each other up with encouragement and help whenever needed.

I see the generosity and kindness of my community as many support the small businesses in my town and help families and organizations in need. 

2020 was a doozy! COVID, losses, fires, and more. I can't say whether 2021 will be better. But I have hope. Hope that humanity can grow in generosity, kindness and strength. Hope that my family can and will continue to thrive and grow in the midst of hardship. Hope that we will all persevere and come out on the other side of all this better people with more to offer to those around us. And above all, I have HOPE. My hope lies in Jesus. He didn't promise us a better world. He didn't promise us prosperity, or safety even, or health. But He did promise that He is with us and will walk with us through whatever we face. 

So much of what was planned for in my 2019 Christmas letter changed! None of the kids went on their mission trips. Rosalie didn't go to Corban, but went instead to a gap year discipleship program. It has been an incredible blessing, and we see God's hand in taking her on that different path. She has grown so much in faith and confidence, has made some wonderful friends, and is very grateful for this experience. She will get to go on that mission trip she was planning on, but it may be to a different location, depending on COVID restrictions in other countries. We're not sure what it looks like yet. What's next for her, we're not sure... but we know it will be just what God has in mind for her, and it will be good.

Cameron hasn't left for France yet, but has been living at home, working and raising support for his year long internship with Greater Europe Missions. It has been so good to have him around! It's been an adjustment for sure, but a good one! :) He hasn't lived at home since he left for college 5 years ago! But I'm so thankful for this time with him, which we would not have had without the year + of COVID. He is on track to leave hopefully in June, depending on COVID restrictions and funding. (If you feel so led, you can support his mission internship here... (Support Cameron's Mission Internship) ) 😉

Katie moved back to Fresno after an extended summer (COVID closures brought her home from college in April. It was soo good to have her home for 4.5 months!) and has attended her senior year of college online, living off campus with 3 of her water polo teammates. Water polo is back in play for her, but on a limited schedule, and with no spectators. While we are so sad to miss watching her play her senior year, we at least get to see some of the games live streamed, which has been nice! She has received word that her graduation will be completely online, so we're not sure what celebrating that will look like. And after graduation, she plans to stay in Fresno, find a job, and hopefully start her master's degree sometime in the next year.

Natalie has been such a trooper! She has done her high school senior year completely online, no sports, no regular job, limited social life, etc.. Some of the perks, though, are being able to work out every day, a trip to Hawaii with her friends (!), and a little bit more laid back schedule. She just this week got a nannying job for a few hours a day, and they are paying her very well. And... she gets to go with them to Hawaii to help with the kids next week! There is no way that would be possible if she was at school, but with online school, she can do her work from anywhere! With all the disappointments of this interesting senior year, we are grateful for her fun experiences, and seeing how the Lord is providing for her. She is planning to go to Fresno Pacific for college in the Fall, and will be playing water polo at FPU. We are happy we will get to continue being part of a water polo family for four more years!

My job at George Fox has been great! I got to work from home the whole time that all the kids were around this summer. I have been given permanent part time status (instead of TEMP) which allows us to have medical, dental and vision coverage. This is a huge blessing, as we had been using a "major medical only" coverage, and will need this coverage moving forward, because....

Reid is in search of a new job! Western Seminary has a new president as of last month, and the new president let Reid know that he is moving in a different direction, and that Reid's position as VP of Student Development and Chief Information Officer is no longer necessary. Those under Reid's leadership will be moved under others, and so here we are... Reid is being compensated through the end of the school year, which will allow us some time to really search out a good fit for him. We have no idea if we will need to move, or get to stay here in our beloved Dundee/ Pacific Northwest.

Rosalie's tuition at Corban was one of the benefits of working at Western, so that no longer exists, which is why we are now wondering what's next for her. (Not sure we can swing the private university cost without big scholarships, or athletic scholarships like the other girls had. Cameron had the advantage of the free tuition at Corban.) We have seen God provide in amazing ways for each of our kids' college education, and so we are hopefully expectant as we wait to see what's possible for her. 

I am not very good at living in limbo :), so God is stretching my faith for sure! Having absolutely no idea what's next is a bit unsettling to say the least! Change is not my favorite. :) And I worry that if we move, my kids will feel like the new place isn't home, and I worry that we might have to move far away, and I mourn that we might not be able to be near extended family, and.... Boy, there are so many swirling thoughts and feelings that come with this change, I can't even... 

But here is what I know. We have been in this place before, and God provided above and beyond what we needed. I know that whatever is next is better than what we currently have (though better doesn't necessarily mean easier). I know that God is good. Our faith in His goodness is unwavering, and therefore, I continue to have HOPE. Hope for good things to come, hope for a new adventure, hope for a wonderful job for Reid where his gifts, skills and talents will be celebrated. Hope for good to come out of this time, these uncertainties. Now... we wait and watch for what He will do!!